Retirees are a wily bunch. They can sniff out a bargain from miles away. In our town we have a fish and chips establishment where on Tuesdays you can eat all you want. My wife, a teacher, had been under stress. With the spring weather the children had become rather unruly. So I thought to treat her(of course, always calculating, with the special in mind). There were other considerations as well. Since she works and “I don’t”, I am responsible for the suppers. Treat my wife, no cooking, no dish cleanups, save the costs of a couple of pounds of fish, the few extra bucks was, in my mind, well worthwile. Now I must explain about the wrinkle.
As a senior I have become quite health conscious. If I can add a few more years to these 75 year old bones I should do it. So, I have my greens, my fruit, and the fiber ( I don’t have to explain that one). For some time I have added garlic( Oh, the stinky bulb is so good for you). Ideally I should take a couple of cloves(little ones) each day, but that would absolutely ruin a forty year marriage. So I have become accustomed to take my garlic (“just a couple more little ones) at the beginning of the week. My wife always does as if she is about to throw up .I’m not sure if she is faking but she surely doesn’t like it. I always try to reassure her that by the weeked, when she has a bit more time to be intimate that it will have worn off. It’s a small miracle that we still sleep in the same bed. However, she will turn her head to the foot of the bed. I still haven’t been able to determine whether she does that to avoid the garlic smell or to get back at me and have me smell her feet.
Well, this time I outsmarted myself. Had totally forgotten about the fish and chip outing. “What, you’ve been into the garlic again. How can you do that? We supposed to go out.” I had to think fast. “Huh. It’s just a working class joint. With the special you get all those factory and construction dudes. After a hot day their armpits smell a heck of a lot worse then my garlic.” She was quick to reply: ” If you can find an armpit that smells worse then your garlic I’ll give you five bucks.” Usually I am quick to take the up challenge, especially when somebody offers me money. But neither she nor me were quite prepared to have people lift their arms and sniff about. So, we are at a stalemate. How can we resolve the disupte?
This is what I’ll do. We need a third party. So we will lay our case before my readers. I know that each of you will give us fair judgment. If possible I still would like to win that five bucks.
